Bob and Rachael Ray – a one-sided love story, part four

January 3, 2010

Rachael Ray, celebrity chef, guru and overall dynamo,  has been the object of Bob’s desire for over a decade.  What blossomed in 2006 , was still blooming in 2007 and 2008, continued on in 2009 and 2010.


February 4, 2011

Five years into the love affair, Bob displayed no signs of wavering.  That year, everyone in the house was sick. The last mood anyone wanted to be in was lovey.

February 8, 2011

February 11, 2011

When everyone got well, they still weren’t feeling it.  That just meant that Bob had to pick up the slack.  This year, he decided that he would make Rachael Ray a wooden yo-yo.  He carved it with his teeth and used mint-flavored dental floss as the string.  It was homemade at its best.  Bob never hear from her.  His devotion was starting to waver.



February 14, 2012

2012 was supposed coincide with the end of the world.  That obviously didn’t happen.  But, Bob did learn a new word.



February 14, 2013

February 15, 2013

Between 2012 and 2013, Bob fell head over tail for singer/songwriter Adele. Nothing came of that either.  No matter how he tried to rationalize and deny, he couldn’t shake his love.  He could jiggle it a little, but shaking?  Not at all.

Next up: More of the same, but in a completely different way…

Categories: love Rachael Ray


My Valentine…

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It’s no secret… I love my wife.  I don’t need a day in the middle of the shortest month to let her know.  Hell, it doesn’t even need to be a Tuesday for me to let her know.

She’s not perfect.  I mean, I question her judgement nearly every single day… why did she pick me?  But, I’m not stupid… I don’t ask her that every day – for fear that she would reconsider her decision.

“Hmm…he’s right.  I never though I’d live with a man who decorates the refrigerator with foam core puffy cloud magnets.”

“Yeah… really.  Instead of cologne and a nice tie for his birthday (either of which he’ll never wear) I’ll get him a 5 lb. tub of gummy worms, the latest Jon Meacham book and a Star Wars storm trooper action figure.  Wait, I think he may already have the storm trooper.” (I do)

I’m the type of person that likes to know why things are the way they are.  I’m constantly looking things up, grabbing books on new subjects… I’m curious about knowledge.  There are so many books in our house that we’ve had to get creative on where to keep them.  Every free space is a place a few books could go.  I have books on everything.

But do you know what subject I don’t have or need any book about?  Love.  I tend to question or research everything…but not love.  We’ve both been through enough wrong to know what is right.  My love for this woman is not something I question… it just is.  It’s a perfect love between two imperfect people… and I don’t think either one of us would have it any other way…

Happy Valentine’s Day Lez.

Love you sweetheart.

I’ll clean the litter boxes tomorrow.



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To my wife on our anniversary…


To my wife… on our wedding anniversary:

You’re the best thing that has ever, or will ever happen to me.
You’re a pain in the ass.
You’re caring.
You’re frustrating.
You’re kind.
You’re demanding.
You’re beautiful.
You’re stubborn.
You’re perfect.
You don’t know(or refuse to accept) how beautiful you are.  You just doesn’t believe it.  That only makes me tell you more.  You not thinking you’re beautiful just makes you more beautiful… and a tad frustrating for me.  I want you to see what I see, but at the same time I want to keep what I see all to myself.  I’m kidding myself though… because anyone who spends a moment with you will know what I get to spend a lifetime with.

I appreciate every moment.  Even the moments you asks me to take the garbage out or clean up the dog puke.  It may not be immediately apparent, but there’s appreciation there.

We are the definition of opposites.  And that’s fine.  You probably never thought she’s fall in love with a dude who still has the Voltron action figure he got on his 9th birthday.  A man that lives for 1970’s funk music, silent comedies, the early space program and Hootie and the Blowfish.  A man that paints clouds on the shed… and the garage door, and the garage wall, and the fence, and the gate and the ceilings.  A man who buys light sabers, eats gummy worms by the bucket, drinks diet soda by the gallon and whose best friend is an imaginary talking squirrel.

You once told me you went for the weird ones.  I’m not sure who you’re talking about but obviously you didn’t mean me. 🙂

It’s taken me two years to finally get comfortable calling you my wife.  Not because I didn’t want to… but because I still couldn’t believe it was true.  It is true.  Boy, is it true.

There’s a big difference between love and romance.  Romance is great and wonderful but it’s like the petals of a sunflower.  You nurture the plant for weeks in anticipation of seeing the bright yellow petals reach for the sky.  They bloom and stay for a while, but eventually wither and fall away… leaving the sunflower seeds behind.  Those seeds are love.  Love is planted and grows and grows… building off of each season… always there, always providing, always replenishing.  Without love, there is no romance.

Love is working at your drawing board all evening and you bringing a brownie… just because.  To be fair that brownie was accompanied by an order form for Lauren’s 2017 yearbook.  But the brownie was good.  Really good.

You know me and I know you.  I’m lucky.  We’re lucky.  Very lucky.

Happy anniversary sweetheart.  I love you more than you know.

Thanks for the brownie.