Bob and Rachael Ray – a one-sided love story, part five

photo: Rachael Ray

Rachael Ray, celebrity chef, guru and overall dynamo,  has been the object of Bob’s desire for over a decade.  What blossomed in 2006 , was still blooming in 2007 and 2008, continued on in 2009 and 2010 and kept on truckin’ through 2011, 2012 and 2013.


February 14, 2014

February 15, 2014

Lauren had a school science project… to study the ins and out of volcanoes.  We researched everything and actually made a pretty decent paper model.  Since we had a lot of flour and paint, an unlimited supply of paper and an extra Pringles can, why not the make and give a seismic, molten gift from the heart? Thankfully, the restraining order never came.  It took a week to get all the flour paste out of Bob’s fur.  The things you do for love.


Operation get Rachael to dig Bob kicked into full gear in 2015.  Lez and I were celebrating our first Valentine’s day as a married couple.  Bob, surrounded by all this love, was on a mission like never before.  He decided to make a video.

February 7, 2015

February 9, 2015

This went on for two solid weeks. A TON of video was shot and re-shot and re-re-shot.

February 12, 2015

Unfortunately, all of the footage was lost after I inadvertently dropped, hit with a hammer, spilled Coke Zero on and ran over seven times the external hard drive containing the raw video.  Accidents happen.

Toward the end of the year, Raquel Hicks, a super, uber Bob the Squirrel fan sent us an autographed Rachael Ray cookbook!

Raquel even included snap shots of the book signing she got this… just in case we had any doubt of the authenticity.  We truly have the best fans on the planet.  I didn’t let Bob know about this until…


February 13, 2016

February 15, 2016

February 16, 2016

Needless to say, Bob was in another realm this Valentine’s day.  After basking in the glow of a sharpie signature for a while, he began to think of the man that held back…

February 20, 2016

He’d not imagining that.  And I’m NOT a monster. A story line is a story line.


Tensions were still running high in 2017.  The world was changing faster than we wanted. Nothing was ever going to be the same.  The cracks on Bob’s devotion were beginning to show.

February 7, 2017

February 8, 2017

February 9, 2017

February 11, 2017

So, that’s where we are now.  Basically, the same place we were twelve years ago. Do I ever see a day where tv chefs and squirrels can live in peace, love and harmony?  Sure, why not?  If he’s still willing to put himself out there, I’ll back him up.

But, we’re dome making volcanoes… do you know how messy they are?

picture of the hard part…

See this picture?  This is a picture of me on a Saturday night.  But, it could just as easily be a picture of me on the other six nights.  Or mornings.  Or a really weird and dark afternoon. If you were standing in my backyard (hope you called first… just standing there without me knowing is trespassing) this is what you’d see.

This stuff is hard.  And parts of it never get any easier.

Mechanics get easier: the prepping, the inking, the scanning…I’m damn near robotic when it comes to that.  Getting to the mechanics… that the bit that never gets easier.  The staring at a notebook.  The premise that doesn’t fit the characters.  The paralyzing fear that I’m going to plagiarize myself (also known as repeating myself). That dialog that is not good.  That idea that, even with adrenaline needles stuck in it, just doesn’t want to live.

I’m not stating that to get credit or sympathy… but it’s true.

I took this picture because I wanted to see what the hard part looked like.

Odd…I thought it would look different.


The other love of my life


Middle age is a funny thing.  I mean, I’ve just now realized that that’s where I am in the timeline of Frank.  Middle.  Maybe there’s just as much ahead of me as behind me… maybe not.  But it’s the middle.  The middle.

I’ve loved many things in my journey to the middle.  No point in making a list.  It contains the usual things.  If you read my strip then you’re already familiar with the “love” list: Lezley, Lauren, Bob, my family (both non-furry and furry) and then there’s Lucy.

Yesterday I had to take Lucy to the vet.  She’s been having an issue with her inside nail on her left paw.  I’d taken her there a few weeks back because of this and the techs managed to get the nail off.  They had to sedate her to do it.  It was the worst feeling ever.  They allowed me to sit with her as she went under.  Feeling her body fall limp made me think of things I didn’t want to think about… like that day in the future when she doesn’t wake up.  It was horrible.  As they took her away I descended first into basket-case, then into straight crying.  I knew logically she was going to be fine… maybe a little sore and groggy… but fine.

Lucy is a dog like no other.  I’ve had her since 2007… and did a comic about it.  The vet said then she was about 3 years old.  She’s been nothing but a pain in the ass.  She doesn’t listen, she’s mean, she’s loud. she has a tendency to run away… and I would move Heaven and earth for her.  She’s destroyed our doors, our window blinds, our window screens… and yet, when that warm little 15lb. body curls up next to me, it’s okay.  It’s just okay.

I thought as she got up in years that she would chill out a bit.  Nah.  Now, when she (and myself) were younger, I did hope she’d calm down.  Now, I relish her insanity.

So yesterday we had to go back to the vet.  The nail that was removed a few weeks back began to grow in funny.  Her toe was still swollen.  She has a high tolerance for pain, so if it did hurt her you’d never know.

I thought they’d only give her a antibiotic shot and we’d be on our way.  That’s what I thought…but no.  The vet didn’t like what the nail looked like so it had to come out.  It bled… a lot.  I didn’t see this of course, but I got the report.

I felt sick.  No one wants their dog to bleed.

Lucy was Lucy… she wouldn’t let the techs wrap her foot.  So, they had to sedate her… again.

I felt sick.  Again.

The rest of the night I made sure Lucy was as comfortable as possible.  The sedation and subsequent wake-up juice leave her groggy… not to mention that collar.  I love this dog… this pain-in-the-ass little dog.

She’s fine.  She’s more than fine.  Like me she’s got more years ahead of her.

The middle is an interesting place to be.

Categories: dog process


5,000 and…

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Today I post the 5,000th Bob the Squirrel strip.  I’ve said it all. Here is the statement to the Bob the Squirrel Greatest Hits show opening tonight.

Thank you everyone everywhere over the course of 15 years and 5,000 strips.  Just… thank you.

25 years of self portraits

This is me… from the beginning of my senior year in high school to this morning.  There are a few gaps in the series – 1993, 1994, 1996, 1997, 1998 and oddly 2002 are missing.  I could probably fill those gaps with something if I looked hard, but what you see are the “official” portraits of those years.  Time flies… click on the image to see a bigger version.

Patreon – and feel good about yourself

Are you a patron of Bob the Squirrel? Why not?

Now what is Patreon? Watch and learn:

I want to keep Bob and Squirrelosophy as vibrant as possible. To do that, I need breathing room. Breathing room where I don’t have to worry about taking a paying gig over putting a bit more time into a Sunday panel or an extra Squirrelosophy panel, or if I just feel the need to do some video and need a piece of equipment.

I’ve had Bob on Patreon since January of this year. Currently, I have 12 wonderful patrons willing to donate their hard earned money to something they think is special and worthy of their support. I cannot begin to tell you how humbled and wonderful that makes me feel. Every little bit helps and is appreciated.

Bob isn’t going anywhere. You as a fan can expect the same quality as always. But with your support through Patreon, Bob can grow. You will be a Patron of the arts! And, as a patron, you will get benefits that others do not. Cool stuff. Really cool stuff… and stuff that’s so cool I haven’t even thought of it yet. The more support, the more cool.

Check out the Bob Patreon page when you can. There is absolutely no pressure to commit.

Support Frank Page creating Comics that Squirrels can dance to and not be embarrassed.

Categories: patreon process self-critique