See this picture? This is a picture of me on a Saturday night. But, it could just as easily be a picture of me on the other six nights. Or mornings. Or a really weird and dark afternoon. If you were standing in my backyard (hope you called first… just standing there without me knowing is trespassing) this is what you’d see.
This stuff is hard. And parts of it never get any easier.
Mechanics get easier: the prepping, the inking, the scanning…I’m damn near robotic when it comes to that. Getting to the mechanics… that the bit that never gets easier. The staring at a notebook. The premise that doesn’t fit the characters. The paralyzing fear that I’m going to plagiarize myself (also known as repeating myself). That dialog that is not good. That idea that, even with adrenaline needles stuck in it, just doesn’t want to live.
I’m not stating that to get credit or sympathy… but it’s true.
I took this picture because I wanted to see what the hard part looked like.
today marks the 50th anniversary of john glenn’s mercury mission…America’s first manned orbital flight in space. there should be no question in anyone’s mind that john glenn is a hero. the word ‘hero’ gets tossed around an awful lot…in some ways i think it’s meaning has been diluted…but that’s another talk for another post.
i have been a space history nut for as long as i can remember. when i was a kid i wrote to nearly all of the early pioneering astronauts. some of them actually wrote me back… sending brief notes and even photos. i realize now how truly special that was…but then i just thought that that is what those guys were supposed to do. those letters made an overweight kid who wore glasses and liked to draw feel like i was as strong as they were in their prime. it was great. unfortunately, through moving and time, a lot of those letters and photos were lost. i still have some, but not nearly what i once had…
which leads me into being stupid.
i had an autographed picture of john glenn. i got it when i was 11 years old. mr. glenn was a u.s. senator then. i just wrote him a letter and a few weeks later there was a return note and glossy black and white 8×10 of him in front of his mercury spacecraft. at the bottom there were the words “Best Regards, John Glenn” in brand new sharpie scrawl across the bottom. that pic meant the world to me…i was so excited that i went out and used my allowance to buy a picture frame for it. it was real, it was from john glenn and it was for me.
years later, in need of some cash, i took that picture out of the frame and sold it on ebay. this is one of the BIGGEST REGRETS i have in my life. there are many reasons for this regret… but the top three are:
1. i do not remember what i needed the money for.
2. i do not remember how much the picture sold for.
3. i do not understand why i would sell something that meant so much to me and was a part of the waning years of my childhood.
i sold a piece of history, my history, at an electronic garage sale. whatever i got for it couldn’t possibly be worth what i lost in mailing that image out of my life. i didn’t realize that at the time, but obviously i do now. i guess i can be thankful that i had something like that for a while anyway.
so if you have a few spare seconds today, think about mr. glenn and what he did 50 years ago. he willingly strapped himself into a tin can on top of a re-purposed intercontinental ballistic missile and was shot into space. would you have the guts to sit on top of a controlled explosion built by the lowest bidder? what he did was new. almost everything about what he did was unknown… but he did it. just like when i sold that photo…only difference is, i doubt mr. glenn has any regrets.