10 MORE things you didn’t know about Bob the Squirrel

Been a while since Bob bared (or is it beared?) his soul to the world.  Maybe the world wasn’t listening… considering all the other things there are one can’t help (or is forced) to listen to.  Here is a list of 10 MORE things you may not have known, written by the fur ball himself, about Bob the Squirrel.  (The first ten can be found here).

1. I brush my teeth three times a year whether they need it or not.

2. Sometimes I just want to be left alone… just so long as someone KNOWS I want to be alone. Because if no one knows, what’s the point of being alone?

3. The day after Frank got his Master’s degree in art he began to draw me better. It was only for that day, but man, what a great day that was.

4. I don’t really long for being back in the wild. I have nothing to prove by dodging cars in the street.

5. I will love Rachael Ray until my tail is old and grey. You may have known that before this list but it bears repeating.

6. People in public will often call Frank ‘Bob”. They never call me ‘Frank’. Frank says he appreciates that but I can tell it’s killing him inside.

7. When Frank was on the verge of ending the comic strip in 2012, I was scared. I mean YOU try getting a job with only one thing on your resume.

8. I’m extremely selfish, but only when it comes to me.

9. I don’t mind the monotony of our daily life… just so long as it’s not the same every day.

10. I’d be nice to be the most famous squirrel ever… or at least a half inch taller.

10 things you may not know about BOB THE SQUIRREL

No one has asked me, so I’m taking some initiative and doing it myself. I feel left out when I’m not forwarded those viral things… It the real world, not getting something viral is a good thing. Ah well… here goes— and remember: you didn’t ask for it.

Ten things you may not know about Bob the Squirrel:

  1. I never wear underwear.
  2. I love peanuts, but I’m not “in love” with them.
  3. I only stay with Frank because I secretly feel sorry for him. Guess that’s not really a secret anymore.
  4. Rachael Ray does know about us. Frank actually had a shot of getting on the show too. Unfortunately, it was a make-over show. The producers asked if he’d be willing to shave off his ‘stache and beard for it. He (like an idiot) refused… and the phone never rang again. This one is so true that I still cry a little thinking about it.
  5. I really like taking naps with the dogs.
  6. My crassness and sarcasm is only a front… a way to hide my secret pain. Problem is, I don’t know what that pain is because it’s that good of a secret.
  7. I think it’s pretty cool that I’m the lead in one of the greatest comic strips that no one knows about. I’m like the Henry Rollins of squirrels.
  8. It’s way easier for me to say Frank is my best friend than for him to say that his best friend is a talking cartoon squirrel.
  9. I can go into any public place on Frank’s shoulder and no one bats an eyelid. One time an Animal Rights group confronted Frank, thinking he was wearing real fur. He was, the only problem is I was still wearing it. When they saw that I was still alive and a creature who memorized George Carlin’s 7 Dirty Words, it was all good.
  10. If you believe half of what I say, half of what I do and half of what I think, that’s three halves…


Categories: announcements