Bob and Rachael Ray – a one-sided love story, part three

via Rachael Ray Show

Rachael Ray, celebrity chef, guru and overall dynamo,  has been the object of Bob’s desire for over a decade.  What blossomed in 2006 , was still blooming in 2007 and 2008, continued on.

2009

February 9, 2009

February 10, 2009

Bob continued his obsession at the end of the decade.  Things in my life were settling down.  We were all moved in to the new house, Lez, Lauren and I were becoming a real family.  And yet, I still felt the need to be a little passive-aggressive when it came to Bob and Rachael Ray.  And

It was around this time I actually had a shot of getting on the Rachael Ray show.  It got pretty far too… I was talking to one of her producers about being on their marriage proposal shows.  The premise would be that I was on the show talking about the comic strip… Lez would be in the audience.  She’d think she was there just to see that.  That’s when I would propose. (I managed to get a good proposal in later on)  On the show. In front of millions. I was nervous.  I was looking at rings.  This all came about and would come about in a matter of 10-12 days. I was in the running to be picked.

The producers then asked if I’d be willing to shave off my ‘stache and beard… essentially giving me a make-over. I (like an idiot) refused… and the phone never rang again. I take a few moments every February since to kick myself for being so foolish. I never told Bob.

Something is wrong…

December 29, 2009

Toward the end of 2009 I did a series of strips where Lez get Bob a Rachael Ray spatula for Christmas.  I thought it was a funny premise… watching Bob go nuts (sorry) over that particular item.  The strips were very funny.  Very funny.  I scanned & sent them off… and proceeded to work on the next story.  Another two weeks of strips finished. Boom… I’m on a roll.  It was only when the Rachael Ray strips were to begin running that I noticed a teeny tiny error.

I had managed to spell Rachael Ray’s name wrong.  In every. Single. Strip.

Going back and fixing it was possible, but not practical. I’d not only have to fix the spelling on the bad strips, I’d have to re-date the two weeks of panels I did AFTER these.  Three weeks of strips changed.  So, I let them run.  Enduring the emails about my error.  Know why?

Because I was going to a week of strips ABOUT the error.  Take that frown and turn it upside down.  Make fun of myself… because, why not?

Only problem was I had to crank them out in record time. Like two days.  This leads right into…

2010

January 4, 2010

January 5, 2010

The benefit was I was now further ahead than I’d ever been.  In the grand scheme of errors ever committed by humanity this doesn’t even rank.  I used it.  I really poured the Rachael on in early 2010.  This made the Valentine story somewhat bleh.

February 12, 2010

Next up… new decade, same heartbreak.

Bob and Rachael Ray – a one-sided love affair, part one

(via rachaelray.com)

Rachael Ray, celebrity chef, guru and overall dynamo,  has been the object of Bob’s desire for over a decade.

As Bob likes to say: “Rachael Ray is awesome. I love the fact that she’s pint sized. I love that she smiles a lot. I love that she can take ingredients and MacGyver it into dinner in less than 30 minutes.

I love that even though it seems like she’s not real, she is real. I love that she’s goofy in a very smart way. I love that I can turn on the TV at pretty much any point of the day and be able to find at least one show she’s on.

I can always count on Rachael to be there when I need something familiar.”

But where and when did this all begin?  We’re going to have to go back a long way.


The beginning:

February 13, 2006 – When Bob met Rachael.

To be fair, I myself have always had a soft spot for Rachael Ray.  When I was a student at the University at Albany in the early 90’s, she was working at a gourmet shop not that far from where I lived.  Of course, I didn’t know that until much later.  As a freshman art student I never did any gourmet grocery shopping, but I did frequent the shopping plaza where that store was.  I’d like to think we crossed paths once or twice.  If she saw me then, her path may have crossed the street.

It was hard to miss Rachael in the early 2000’s.  The strip was about four years in when I decided that Bob needed a celebrity crush (don’t we all?).  Rachael was an easy choice…not much explaining was needed.

A one-sided love affair was born.  A love affair that, at last count, has spanned 12 years and 102 strips.

February 16, 2006 – When ego begins to match perception.

Bob heard nothing from Rachael in 2006.  He was determined to change that the following year.  To that end, he commissioned me to paint her a portrait.

February 13, 2007 – always a critic, even when it’s free.

He waited and waited and waited… nothing. Not so much as a mention or a cease and desist order.  But squirrels are stubborn.

Coming tomorrow: A glimmer of hope and ultimate disappointment.

history and me…

1 Comment

throughout high school and undergrad, i couldn’t be bothered with history.  it just never really clicked with me: why would you want to look at things that have already happened?  that last statement is bordering on ironic considering that at one point i wanted to be a philosophy major.

as i got older i started to understand history more…not the dates and the places but the CONCEPT of history.   it was simple: knowing what was done directs what you’re going to do.  okay, i get that… as i got deeper and deeper though, i realized that history puts only a few names in bold print:  washington, jefferson, adams… but they’re not the only ones making history.  in fact, history; the creation of a nation, an economic entity, is all about the names that you never hear…names and faces that in some cases are never even recorded.  what excited me the most was that history is all about stories.  i get more perspective from a corporal in a muddy field who jotted notes in his journal than his commanding general in a dry tent on a hill.

it’s about the faceless, nameless masses.  they’re the ones that make history real.

maybe one of these days i’ll work on my phd.  for now, i’ll let a cartoon squirrel let me know how blind i can sometimes be.