Life in the middle…

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072907Life in the middle.  I don’t feel it.  Well, I take that back… sometimes I feel it.   When I get up in the morning: the stiffness of the night takes a bit more of the morning to work out than it once had.  When I look in the mirror: I’m seeing more of my forehead and less of my hair… and the hair I do see is slightly peppered with salt.

I tend to think about life way more… which is saying a lot considering I do that all the time anyway… I think about my family more… and see that priorities, proclivities, intentions, inclinations and perspectives have shifted to such a degree that… I’m just a different person.  I’ve always thought about tomorrow, it’s just now there’s less tomorrow to think about.

I’ve lived long enough to see patterns and cycles complete and come back again.  I’ve lived long enough to see that I am now the generation younger generations look to.  Living is now attached to a responsibility I never had before.  I really don’t want that responsibility, but as my mother always said, “Tough sh-t, you have to deal with it.”

As a kid, I remember grown-ups being so… grown up.  I see that they were as old then as I am now.  Why don’t I act like them?  I don’t feel it at all.

I tend to look at the sky and clouds more.  I try and jam more feeling and thoughts into my brain.  Extra memories for the days I can’t make as many.  I worry.  I obsess.  The problem with constantly thinking about tomorrow is that you neglect today.   I’m working on that too.

The notion that we are all “works in progress” is more apparent to me than it ever was.  We’re not perfect out of the box.

The tone of the strip is changing to reflect this part of the life cycle.  It wasn’t from design, it’s just organic.  I can’t help it… it goes where it goes.  It’d be foolish to even try and write from the perspective of the 26-year-old who began this journey.  It wouldn’t work. It is what it is:  a little stiffer, more mature with a dash of experience and bitterness.

I welcome you to the dawning (and drawing) of Frank’s middle age.

Art Show – April 1st

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Less than two days.

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This whole show has me written all over it.  Which is the way that it should be… everything.

Every piece is placed where I want it.  It’s good to have a vision from the beginning.  But, it’s better when that vision is drawn in pencil.  What I thought initially and what it is now: similar but different.

I’ve been told that I need to enjoy this process.  Enjoy the creation.  Enjoy the placement.  Enjoy the journey.

And I am trying.  Seriously, I am.  Those of you that know me probably think that last sentence is B.S. It’s not.  I’m trying.

I may not be succeeding, but I’m totally trying.

I feel like a musician who has been doing concerts for 30 years… playing the hits from 25 years ago every single night.  I don’t think it’s possible for me now to get as excited as someone seeing the stuff for the first time.  My excitement and the viewer’s excitement are of two different species.  Still excitement, just different excitement.  I think that when I see viewer’s reactions to the stuff, my excitement will spike.  Springsteen plays “Born to Run” for the 1,265th time with as much passion as he did the 7th time.  You know why?  The audience. The audience’s reaction makes him feel like he’s playing it for the 8th time.

I say I’ll be happy when the show is open and over.  That doesn’t mean I hate the show… not even remotely.  I’m the type that is always thinking of the next thing.  I’ll be happy when the show is over

so I can move onto the next thing.  Every project leads to another.

For those of you who won’t be able to make it, I’ll be posting video of the show… both of before and during.  I’ll let you know.

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