A new direction…

I realize now that posting this with the title “A New Direction” on April Fools Day instead of today would have created a greater impact.  Live and learn.

Full disclosure: my arms are covered with much more hair than I’ve depicted…

Categories: fun laugh life

Cartoonist and the candy corn…

I love candy corn.  I mean… I LOVE candy corn.

Sure, I get sick of it…especially around November… because traditionally I mainline the stuff into my face from September to October. In November, the love affair wains, being replaced by another love: Christmas cookies.

I’m telling you that to tell you this- as of October 10, 2017 I have lost 40 lbs.  I’ve talked about this transformation previously.  It’s a whole new world, man.  I’m almost in the best shape I’ve ever been… better than I was in my 20s or my 30s.  That’s saying something.

But there’s candy corn.  My new way of thinking and relationship with food has tested this love.  I didn’t run out and get a fall colored bag the moment it was available. (I just found out THIS YEAR that candy corn wasn’t actually available year round… not through conventional means anyway).  I stay away from sugar now.  Candy corn is not only love… it’s a LOT of sugar.  A lot of sugar.

I ended up buying a bag.  And it was really hard to open… the bag was easy to open but getting me to open that bag was hard.  Would my opening that door ruin seven months of new food discipline?  Would I just inhale the whole bag once that first kinda softish, weird textured kernel hit my throat?

It took a me a full day before I could open it.  This is insane, right?

I opened it.  Counted out the recommended single serving (about 19 kernels), and proceeded to re-ignite my seasonal love affair.  Before, about 19 kernels would be a mouthful for me.  One single mouthful.  How would this end?

Eh. It was alright.  Took me a while to finish all 19.  Crazy.  All that build up.  I sealed the bag, put it in my squirrel cookie jar and went on with my life.

I’ll always love you candy corn… it’s not you, it’s me.  We can still be friends.

Fried Wonton, Fans and being Frank…

File this under: Only in my hometown and freakin’ kinda cool to be Frank.

Pick myself up some Chinese food. In my car, pulling out into the Boulevard. I reach for a piping hot fried wonton. I know they’re not good for me, even if I wasn’t driving…but I’m at a stop light. The wonton are very, VERY fresh… like right out of the fryer fresh. It’s a beautiful day and my driver side car window is down for the first time this year.

Just as I bite down on the wonton, I hear, “Bob the Squirrel?”
I ignore it at first because in addition to being at mid bite, I tend to hear the words “Bob the Squirrel” in my head all the time.

I bite down and immediately a lava hot gob of oil singes every corpuscle on my tongue. Yeah, the wonton are fresh.

“Hey, Bob the Squirrel?” I hear it again. This time I can tell that voice is not in my head… because that voice is usually laughing as well as talking.

I look to my left, boiling hot oil covered wonton smouldering in my mouth, to see a man in a green mini-van. We make eye contact. He smiles because he’s finally got my attention.

“Bob the SQUIRREL?!”

Now, because I have good reason to believe the wonton in my mouth is melting my teeth, I cannot open my mouth to talk. I’m chewing as fast as I can to get the burning out of my mouth and down into my stomach, where, it’ll be easier. All I can do give this wonderful fan a hearty thumbs up. Seriously, a thumbs up.

He acknowledges my friendly acknowledgement and says, across the traffic, “Yeah! I read it!” This phrase is followed by a wonderful laugh.

My mouth is blistered by now, but the wonton is safely down in my stomach. The light changes green and we both are on our way.

So, to the fan who spotted me in my car, across a lane of traffic, while I was nursing a wonton that was seemingly fried on the sun… I thank you for reading my strip.

Today was a good day.

SQUIRRELOSOPHY-Black Friday Yesterday

This is re-posted from today’s SQUIRRELOSOPHY…
Black Friday on a Tuesday

It’s that time of year again.  A time when the Black Friday deals fill the joyous air with bargain flavored atmosphere.  Thing of it is, the Black Friday deals started way before the day they’re named for.  What the what?

Even though I am a squirrel, I like to consider myself a learned student on what it means to be human.  I mean, only someone who ISN’T human could have that type of perspective, right?  Is it really worth the deal to crowd yourself, shoulder to hostile shoulder into retail space with homicidal aspirations to get a dvd for $1.99?  Seriously? I could understand if you were starving and you have to push and fight for a loaf of bread… to keep yourself alive.  But, seriously?  I am willing to roll over you for that cheap television.  I will fight you to save some money.

What is wrong with you people?  Ease up.  The more successful this is, the earlier it will be.  Christmas shopping next year will start two days before Halloween.  You know I’m right.

So, Hopefully the scratches and bruises on your body aren’t that bad.  Ice that bump on your head and have a turkey sandwich.  The leftovers will be in the fridge earlier next year.

And, because I am a total HYPOCRITICAL SQUIRREL, be sure to check out Frank’s JINGLE BOB original art sale   and the Holiday Custom Art Offer.  Exorcize some of that black and blue Thursday and Friday out of your system by purchasing some original art.  I guarantee it’ll make me think that much more of you. 🙂

And be sure to check out the latest Bob the Squirrel and Squirrelosophy collections: at one point, the kid had A LOT of potential and that’s one way of doing it along with all the other Bob the Squirrel books… if you haven’t already.